no clue...

Hello, internet. I'm not sure why you're here, but since you seem to have stayed, I'm Emily. An 18 year old, nerdy, college student, and obviously I love to party. And by party, I mean sit on the internet and act like I have friends.


Ask me stuff.  
Reblogged from owl-smoke

My summary of Fifty Shades of Grey (spoilers)

  • Ana: I am clumsy and I don't know I'm beautiful and I'm innocent and unaware.
  • Ana: You can call me Bella 2.0
  • Christian: I am very powerful and I get what I want! And I'm gorgeous.
  • Christian: And my eyes are gray. And my ties are gray. And my last name is "grey."
  • Christian: And I'm going to stalk you!
  • Ana: OMG I say I hate it but I secretly love it!
  • Christian: Stop biting your lip.
  • Ana: You're so mysterious!
  • Christian: I saved your life.
  • Ana: I'm druinnunkkk.
  • Jose: TEAM JOSE!
  • Ana: Josee noo omfg
  • Christian: You're at my house now!
  • Ana: He's so demanding and I love being told what to do!
  • Ana: I just met you. And this is crazy. Take my virginity. And whip me maybe.
  • Christian: Wow, I've never had normal people sex before!
  • Ana: Is that foreshadowing?
  • Christian: Here is the torture chamber I have built into my mansion. No one can hear you scream.
  • Ana: I don't even know what half this stuff is but I want to nibble your nutsack.
  • Christian: Sign this and become my sex slave!
  • Ana: There are too many rulessss.
  • Christian: Sign this!
  • Ana: You have to make love to me first.
  • Christian: Stop biting your lip!
  • Ana: I'm going to Georgia to see my mom!
  • Christian: Hi Ana's mom. I put metal anal beads in your daughter's asshole.
  • Ana's mom: OMG Ana's he's amazing!
  • Christian: I bought your daughter a car.
  • Christian: You can call me Edward 2.0!
  • Ana: Take me to your parents' house!
  • Christian: I am going to fuck you in my boathouse!
  • Christian: The contract is officially null and void btw
  • Ana: Punish me anyways!
  • Christian: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT STOP FUCKING BITING YOUR LIP ANA
  • Ana: Why are you this way?
  • Christian: I was this older lady's sex slave and we're still friends.
  • Ana: wut
  • Christian: yeah
  • Ana: Let's cuddle
  • Christian: NO DON'T TOUCH ME
  • Ana: Beat the shit out of me. I know it turns you on.
  • Christian: you don't have a submissive bone in your body
  • Christian: okay here's my belt.
  • Ana: ow what the fuck!
  • Ana: YOU ARE FIFTY SHADES OF FUCKED UP!
  • Ana: And now I am suddenly a strong woman conscious of my boundaries!
  • Ana: And I love you!
  • Ana: So bye!
  • Christian: Ok.
  • -The End-
Reblogged from letmartyhandlethis
Reblogged from xchinosgirlx

(Source: xchinosgirlx, via azorahai)

Reblogged from titillatingtomtales
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

titillatingtomtales:

titillatingtomtales:

Not telling you what it is. Just press play!

Reblogging this because seriously guys what happened!? I made this post a month ago, it got 300 notes (most I had ever seen on a post back then) and that was it. I guess someone went that far back in the blog and found it, reblogged it, and all hell went loose! I’m so glad y’all like it. Credit of course goes to the submitter. Everyone loves some Tom/penis humour!

(via geothebio)

Reblogged from panda-bro

mandylasers:

panda-bro:

Tea Time!

OH MY GOD.

(via asthmaticduck)

Reblogged from its-blee
Reblogged from maudit

(Source: maudit, via norsed)

Reblogged from hummelanderson
Reblogged from hiddles-love

kismetjeska:

I reserve the right to use this gifset as evidence against the claim ‘there’s no such thing as a perfect man’.

(Source: hiddles-love, via ktbunke)

I just cannot fathom why Fifty Shades of Grey is a bestseller.

Filthy Fifty Shades of Grey is really and truly awful. It’s not the sex that bothers me, you can do whatever kink and shit you want I don’t care, but the writing is just so bad. Have you ever read a fanfiction when you just have to sit back and think, “Does this person read on a second grade reading level?” That is this book! Her characters aren’t interesting and the plot is nearly impossible. 

Read more of my hate if you want. I just had to say it somewhere.

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